She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
