you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
