he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
