i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
