Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
