As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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