I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
