Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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