Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
