I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
