first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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