if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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