It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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