Only a mothe r could love this liver
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
