she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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