well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
