I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
