Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
