:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
