that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
