sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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