do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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