i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
