The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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