What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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