btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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