Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize