and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
