i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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