end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
