I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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