xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
