i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
