I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just googled if crying burns calories
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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