So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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