we're chasing vodka with high fives
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
