You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
