Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
