Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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