I'm jealous of your bromance
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Also, beer. Big fan.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
