fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
