plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
