You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
