porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
