you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
