Only a mothe r could love this liver
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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