I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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