I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
