Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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