Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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