Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
