for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
