I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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