Can i not drive my cunt home
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
