ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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