drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
