in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
