Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
