I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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