Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
