What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize