fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize