I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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