A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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