i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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