In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
